Book Club Magic, Self-Talk Spells & Deep Connection: Reflecting on The Four Agreements

Last week, something truly wonderful happened: the very first book club inside Worthy & Rising came to life. It was small - just two of us - but it was intimate, cosy, and filled with the kind of thought-provoking conversation that stays with you long after the live call ends.

We read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, up until the first agreement, but the book was just the starting point. What unfolded was a rich, honest, heart-expanding conversation about the way we’ve been shaped, the agreements we carry, and how deeply our self-talk shapes our entire world.

Conversations That Open the Soul

I had prepared a whole bunch of reflection questions (with a little help from my AI assistant, if I’m honest), but we didn’t go through them point by point. Instead, they guided the flow of our talk - a framework for where the conversation wanted to go. And wow, did it go deep.

One insight that really stood out was something the other person said: "Children are more liquid, and adults are more stable." It hit me right in the chest. As children, we change so easily - we're still learning how to be in the world. But as adults, we often become more set in our ways, more resistant to change. We’re still carrying beliefs from childhood that don’t serve us, yet we cling to them as if they’re permanent truths.

We also talked about the importance of pausing the self-growth hustle. Yes, growth is beautiful. But so is integration. So is being. You don’t have to always be fixing, healing, improving. Sometimes, you need to live. To breathe. To just exist in the now and anchor in everything you’ve already learned.

The First Agreement: Be Impeccable with Your Word

We focused mostly on the first agreement: Be Impeccable with Your Word. I needed to hear it in different ways to really understand it. Here are the versions that landed most deeply:

• Speak with integrity and kindness - especially to yourself.

• Use your words to uplift, not to harm.

• Let your words reflect truth, love, and respect.

• Speak in a way that honours who you are and who others are.

• Don’t use your voice to betray yourself.

That last one stopped me in my tracks.

When you think about how much harm comes from people not being impeccable with their word - the gossip, the assumptions, the projections, the manipulation - you begin to see how easy it is to live in fear instead of love. Fear makes us vigilant. It tells us to watch for danger. But that constant vigilance is exhausting, and it seeps into how we speak to ourselves and others.

One line from the book that echoed deeply through our talk was this - at least to me:

"You abuse yourself the most in your life. And the level of abuse you're giving yourself is the level of abuse you'll be willing to accept from others."

Oof. That landed hard.

It helped me see something in myself: how I sometimes brace against the world, expecting criticism or doubt - especially when it comes to building my business. But that external fear is only echoing the internal abuse I’m still working through: self-doubt, harsh inner dialogue, expecting failure. When someone else voices doubt, it feels like an attack - but really, it’s a mirror of what I’m already saying to myself, because at some point, I have made an agreement that it is true.

And that’s the kind of spell I want to break. 

Why Book Clubs Matter

Sharing this reading experience in community felt so different than reading it alone. I’d read The Four Agreements before, but honestly, I’d forgotten most of it. Just reading it on your own, especially during a busy or growth-heavy season, can feel like just another piece of content. But talking about it and hearing someone else’s interpretation? That sticks.

It also feels like a beautiful way to honour the author’s work. To really sit with the wisdom. To chew on it, together. And to realise that you’re not alone in your thoughts, doubts, or dreams.

Book clubs matter because they open space for vulnerability, for shared meaning, and for connection that goes far beyond small talk. On a soul level, they remind us that we’re not isolated minds processing alone - we’re part of something bigger. On a societal level, I truly believe that if more people had these kinds of open-hearted, curious conversations, the world would feel more connected and less rigid.

Want to Join Us?

Our book club lives inside Worthy & Rising  - it's my free community for women, queers, allies, rebels, and misfits who want to feel good, live a self-directed life, and grow together. We’re reading growth-minded books, having real conversations, and connecting in meaningful ways. (and it's not only a book club - it's a community - just so you know. 🥰)

If that sounds like your kind of magic, come join us. Or start your own book club with friends. You’ll learn so much about them - and about yourself.

Because when we share stories, we share soul. And that kind of connection sticks.

👉 Join the community Worthy & Rising

Let’s read, reflect, and rebel - together.

And, of course - feel free to share this blog post, if you see value in it. ❤️