What Happens When You Start Believing in Your Own Magic

(And why it can feel like your entire system wants to crawl under a blanket and hide)

No One Talks About This Part of the Magic

They talk about “trusting your intuition” and “tapping into your magic” like it’s a light switch.
Like one day you’ll just wake up with glitter in your hair and certainty in your bones and a glowing neon sign from the Universe that says: YOU ARE MAGICAL NOW.

But that’s not how it went for me.

Expanding Into Your Magic Isn’t Always Cute

For me, believing in my own magic has felt more like cracking open. Like grief and giddiness wrapped in one. Like standing in the middle of a big, bold dream and whispering, “Wait, am I allowed to do this?”

And the answer is yes.
A screaming, inconvenient, uncomfortable, YES.

But believing that? Really believing it - not just posting it on Instagram or journaling it on a full moon - that takes practice. It takes guts. It takes discomfort.

I’m In the Middle of It Right Now

I’m not speaking from a mountain of completion here. I’m in it. Right now.

I’m in the phase where I’m actively expanding my capacity to hold my own magic.
Some days I feel like a radiant, sovereign queen.
Other days, I feel like an unqualified little goblin in pyjamas screaming “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?” at my own reflection.

Because magic doesn’t always feel magical.
Especially when you’ve spent years shrinking to survive.

Most of My Life, I Didn’t Believe in My Magic

I believed I existed for other people.
To be useful. To be liked. To be good.

I dressed boldly, punk phases, hippie phases, full-blown goth goddess vibes - but inside, I muted myself. I didn’t believe I had a place in the world unless I earned it through pleasing, shrinking and sacrificing.

And it wasn’t until one very real friendship cracked the door open that I began to wonder:
What if I’m not broken? What if I’m not too much? What if I don’t need to shrink at all? What if I'm allowed to live the life that I want?

Discomfort Is a Sign of Growth, Not Failure

Here’s what nobody tells you when you start choosing yourself:

Your nervous system might panic.
You might feel self-doubt like never before.
You might want to crawl back under your safety blanket and pretend you never had that big bold idea.
That’s because your system is recalibrating, not because you're doing it wrong.

And yes, it’s messy. But it’s also magnificent.

You Were Taught to Stay Small - But That Was Never the Truth

If you’ve been socialised to prioritise others (hello, women, femmes, rebels, creatives, people-pleasers and trauma-holders), you were probably taught that it’s dangerous to take up space.

You were taught that being good meant being quiet.
That being loved meant being agreeable.
That being safe meant being small.

But that’s not the truth.
And deep down, you know it.
That’s why you’re here.

Coming Back to Yourself (Again and Again)

When the imposter gremlins start yelling... when the sadness creeps in... when I’m ready to give up and crawl back into someone else’s expectations, I try to stop. Breathe. Listen.

I remember who I am.
What I want.
What I came here to do.

And then I choose to believe myself.
Not in myself. Myself.

You Don’t Have to Be Ready - You Just Have to Be Willing

If you want to believe in your magic but feel like you’re not ready - that’s okay.
You don’t have to feel ready.

Start small. Try something new today - a different coffee, a new song, a louder voice in your car, a bolder answer at work.
Your magic doesn’t need to be perfect. It just needs to be yours.

You’re already on the path.
And every tiny rebellion counts.

This Is Exactly Why I Created Feel Good Rebel Academy

It’s a portal for growth, for self expression and self sovereignty.
A safe place to explore your magic, your mess, and your becoming - alongside other rebels doing the same.

I’m inviting 10 founding members to come shape this space with me before May 12th.
We’re growing together. Messily. Magically. With support, courses, rituals, community, and fire.

Join here:

And if that’s not where you’re at just yet, you’re always welcome in Worthy & Rising, my free off-social-media community. It’s warm. It’s affirming. It’s real.

Final Words for the Rebel in the Middle of Becoming

So if you’re here - overwhelmed, excited, scared, stretching - just know this:

You’re not behind.
There's nothing wrong with you.
You’re not alone.

You’re becoming.
And that is the most magical thing you could possibly be doing.

I am so very proud of you! 

Tudelu. ✨