You’re Allowed to Change, Even If They Don’t Understand

 You’re Not Wrong for Wanting More

There’s a particular kind of ache that comes when you realise…
you don’t quite fit into the life you were raised to live.

Not because you’ve done anything wrong or because you’ve lost your way.
But because you’ve found yourself - and that self doesn’t match the version others were more comfortable with.

You want more now. More joy. More sovereignty. More room to speak, to feel, to live with your whole being.

And at the very same time, a small, shaky voice rises inside you that says:

“Is it safe to be this version of me? Will I still be loved if I stop fitting in?”

The Fear Isn’t Irrational - It’s Old

If you’ve ever felt the urge to soften your edges when speaking to family, or caught yourself rephrasing your truth to sound more agreeable - you’re not alone.
That’s your nervous system remembering what it was like to depend on other people’s approval to stay safe.

As children, we learn to mould ourselves.
To survive.
To keep the peace.
To belong in the only world we know.

So of course, stepping out of those old roles - into a version of yourself that’s bolder, more magical, more you - feels like rebellion.

But you're not betraying your "elders".
You're healing.

Belonging Isn’t Earned by Shrinking

One of the most radical things we can do as adults is to say:

“I’m allowed to belong somewhere else now.
I’m allowed to find new people who feel like home.
I’m allowed to speak my truth even if the ones who raised me don’t recognise it.”

You get to make new choices.
You get to release the pressure to make your desires digestible.
You get to lead your own life - even if it makes some people uncomfortable.

The people who truly love you?
They may not always understand you, but they’ll learn to respect the you, that respects herself.

You Were Never Meant to Be Palatable

If you’re reading this with a lump in your throat or a quiet “oh…” in your chest, just know:
There’s nothing wrong with you for wanting joy instead of burnout.
For wanting to express yourself fully instead of filtering your soul.
For craving a life where your self-worth isn’t tied to productivity, struggle, or external validation.

You weren’t born to be agreeable.
You weren’t born to be easy to explain.

You were born to be fully expressed, fully alive, and fully sovereign.

And yes, that might mean you stop fitting in with the people who taught you how to survive.
But it also means you start building a life where you can thrive.

You’re Allowed to Choose a New Kind of Belonging

This is the kind of belonging that doesn’t ask you to shrink.
It doesn’t punish your sensitivity, your joy, or your weirdness.
It celebrates your enoughness, right here, right now.

You don’t have to keep trying to be understood by people who were never meant to walk your whole path with you. You can grieve that.
And then you can open yourself to the new.
The ones who feel like resonance. Safety and recognition.

The ones who say:

“Thank you for showing up as yourself. I’ve been waiting for someone like you.”

You Are Not Too Much. You Are the Magic.

So if you’re wobbling today…
If your body still flinches when you say something bold…
If part of you still wonders if you should just tone it all down...

Breathe.

Come back to your truth.

You are not too much.
You are not arrogant.
You are not wrong for wanting ease, joy, fulfilment, pleasure, and connection that feels real.

You’re just ready to stop shrinking.
And that, my love, is the beginning of your liberation.

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If this resonates, come join us inside Worthy & Rising - my free, off-social community for women and queer beings remembering who they are. It’s soft. It’s bold. It’s filled with people who are no longer interested in shrinking to fit in. 💛
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